A statement regarding the Royal Baby

A statement regarding the Royal Baby.

Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that they are expecting a daughter in July.

“Their Royal Highnesses wish to announce the sex of the royal baby in the hopes that it will quell speculation surrounding The Duchess of Cambridge’s pregnancy.” A spokesperson has confirmed.

“They are over the moon,” a pal confirms. “Carole is already unpacking Kate and Pippa’s babygros!”

“Kate has known for some time,” a source reveals, “When she visited Grimsby and the woman in the crowd asked about a daughter, Kate worried that she had given the game away.”

According to a royal source, when Camilla heard the news, she immediately sent out a staff member to buy pink wool. The Queen and The Prince of Wales are said to be delighted. ‘Britain has a great history of Queens regnant and the arrival of a girl is a historic event given the changes to the succession rules.’

A spokesperson would not confirm whether Diana would be amongst the baby’s names.

“They will reveal her names in due course.”

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!

The Catherine Cambridge Too Much Information Pregnancy Report

Posted by Marilyn

So, here we are eleven days since Catherine’s pregnancy announcement. In this short time we have learned many things, some which fall under the too much information category.

We now have a greater understanding of Hyperemesis Gravidarum, without the need for a telethon.

Catherine will definately give birth in a hospital instead of a palace. Obvious choice considering that no royal baby of late has been born in a palace. Including Prince William himself.

She might even be expecting twins! Good news? Maybe or maybe not. This comes with complications if she has a caesarean section. The doctor who performs the section has the added pressure of picking which baby comes out first. The future of the monarchy is therefore in his/her hands – literally.

Names have been chosen or suggested, including Diana, Lancelot, Elizabeth, or even something more ‘rock and roll’ Fun stuff, now on to the nickname.

If you’re curious about what the baby will look like, a forensic artist has created a mock up for you.

Snooki has weighed in with parenting advice and Fergie has offered tips for warding off morning sickness.

Not only can Catherine look forward to unsolicited pregnancy/parenting advice, she also has the added pressure of dramatically boosting the UK economy. But not as much pressure as the royal baby for ending ‘ginger phobia’ and being a ‘human rights pioneer’

The question on everyone’s mind now is, what will William wear?

William and Catherine will not hire a full-time nanny.  In fact, Catherine will be a Kool Aid mom

No time like the present to talk about what school the baby will go to.

The Life of a Royal Baby has already been foretold!

William and Catherine are not the only ones rejoicing! So are cybersquatters!

Royal Baby? One day there might be an app for that.

We can look forward to…royal baby specials, including Secrets of the Royal Nursery . Just how many generalizations and uneducated guesses can one special offer? Watch and count them! 

Catherine already has experience with babies. After all, she was once a baby herself.

Want to know what’s going on in Kate’s uterus? Jon Stewart has it covered

In a proactive measure, William has already picked out Kate’s ‘push present’ and manufacturers have started production on royal baby mugs.

The ‘Prognosticating Fremont cat’ has predicted that the baby will be a boy

If you’re the betting kind, here are 14 things to place your money on, including time, date and method of birth.

Happy holidays! In the spirit of Christmas, an artistisan has immortalized the couple in a Naples nativity scene.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Easter!

Posted by Marilyn

Prince William and Kate Middleton Easter eggs

A revealing April Fools Day joke

I’m not one to look at April Fools Day jokes as having any hidden meaning behind them. They’re meant to be jokes and that’s it. Such is the case with the two I posted on this blog – one about William resigning from the RAF and the other about Catherine losing her engagement ring because Lupo ate it.

The ring post didn’t cause any stir. This could be because  I put ‘Happy April Fools Day!’ at the end of it. Whereas I did not do this with the RAF post. I’d looked at other ‘jokes’ in the media and found that none of them had that disclaimer at the end. The reader was left to figure out whether it was a joke or not. So I did not put it on. I thought that the sentence ‘We sat down and did the math with William and Catherine’ would be the giveaway. I guess it wasn’t for some. When I saw google searches and found the question about William’s resignation was posted on a message board I thought it had gone too far. Which is why I added the update clarifying it was a joke.

It’s interesting that if you add the words ‘sources say’ or ‘a pal reveals’ can make a post sound more plausible. I’ve had that experience a few times. A few years ago I did an April fools day joke on this blog announcing William and Catherine’s engagement which provoked a very strong reaction from people not certain whether it was true or not.  This blog got a lot of traffic as a result, but that wasn’t the point. It was a joke but it was revealing in how strong the interest is in their relationship. Judging by the reaction when the engagement was actually announced, just confirmed it.

I’m not trying to give myself credit for any brilliance in coming up with these posts. They were fairly easy to write – too easy, in fact. Occasionally I think I missed my calling as a tabloid article writer. It really drives home the maxim ‘don’t believe everything you read.’

What’s the point of this particular post then? Well the reaction is revealing to me. The idea of William resigning from the RAF to support the Queen hit a nerve. People were happy about the idea, thinking it was long overdue. I’m not the only one who thinks that William and Catherine are not pulling their weight and they should get on with it. I’m not the only one who thinks Catherine should be doing more. Having observed Catherine over this past year, I’m inclined to agree. I didn’t need an April Fools day joke or its reaction to it to convince myself of that. If anything it tells me that I’m not the only one who wants it to be true.

The Royal Report for Sunday November 20, 2011 – Royal Baby Watch November edition

Tune in to the next episode of The Royal Report on Sunday November 20th, 2011 at 9:00PM EST (North America).

The topic will be: Royal Baby Watch – November edition. Seven months in and still no news of a royal baby. Are William and Catherine under too much pressure to have a baby?